The Mill on the Hill

Most of us were desperate for an outlet (or outlets) as soon as we were struck by lockdown 1.0 back in the spring of 2020. Making bread like maniacs, emptying the shelves of flour and yeast, discovering walks in the local woods which we never knew existed, dusting off our ordnance survey maps, desperately erecting raised vegetable beds in our backyards. All partly in an attempt to live up to this whole other expectation that the moment was demanding from us. As if we healthcare professionals (and key workers and essential service providers and parents and teachers and carers and a million others) were not already doing enough!

Memes, media posts, virtual forums springing up to the point of exasperation. 

A pressure valve needing release. Exercise lovers (and for that matter haters) did not need much persuading. So, I somewhat grudgingly swapped my old trainers for a new pair and began to diligently clock my miles on Strava. Well, that was the easy part, the phone did it for me.

Back when the weather was still unforgiving, I started with some early morning walk-runs and soon became one of a host of familiar faces, the friendly dog walker, the rude (I assumed) man who has never smiled once in the eight years that our trails have crossed, and the alarming dodgers who would rather hop out of my way straight into oncoming traffic!

And when I started to get my momentum back, I rediscovered my favourite stretch. 

And with it my 'Mill on the Hill'.

And the new symbolism it began to form.

And the way it started to inspire my thinking.

Because the Mill on the Hill was not the halfway point of the stretch. Nor was it at the finish line. It was an awkward 'somewhere at the start, somewhere in between'. But in the morning sunlight it was always beautiful. By the time I got to it, I was already breathing heavily and wanting to stop.Yet strangely still looking forward to it. 

Much like life was, work was, and the state of the pandemic was, so was my beautiful Mill on the Hill when I took these pictures in September.

And as I ran I reflected...'We have continuously  worked so hard, stretching ourselves to our limits. But surely there is more to come yet?’ And... 'Is this really the peak of the pandemic, is this the 'mill on the hill'?' At times... ‘Once I get over this, it is all downhill', only to remind myself... 'This hill still isn't the halfway point, there's much more pushing ahead to do' 

Once close to the Mill on the Hill, I had a definite sense of fulfilment, and achievement, and also that genuine feeling of not being sure I could carry on, except that I still needed to. Because who quits in the middle of a trail, in the middle of a challenge, in the middle of pandemic?

There I was, having  to live up to expectations again, feeling the pressure. Feeling challenged by my own limitations and also accepting that it was okay to feel exhausted, to feel defeated at times. 

And I too, joined runners' communities, and online forums, doctor mums, charity runs. What an inspiration most have been! Never judging, always cheering on. Individual and collective tales of illnesses, challenges and adversities far far greater than I can ever imagine, or ever find myself capable of withstanding.

We ran through it all.

We all had our mills on the hills, sometimes just hills no mills, sometimes massive mountains.

And there is always a downhill. A long run still ahead.  And something else to look forward to. Perhaps a nice surprise after the corner.

Like the beautiful 'church around the bend'. And with it, a better summer this time.

Same storm, different boats.

Strange things happened when the first lockdown arrived. People suddenly wanted to connect, virtual strangers were reaching out.  I was feeling utterly crap (with a hacking cough, in March 2020, that’s right) and stressed with changing ways of working, the looming membership exams. But mostly with the incredible workload in general practice. Overwhelmed by the superlative expressions of gratitude on the one hand, all the 'clapping for carers', the flowers in the surgery, and incredulous the next moment by the amount of toxicity and vitriol directed in the path of my profession by the public, the media and sadly also by other medical colleagues. 

And then...my classmates from medical school set up a virtual group, I mean, really?! These were a group of people some of whom  I had not spoken to for nearly twenty years.  So what was the urgency now? We all had different lives, different careers all over the world, having off-shooted from St. John's Medical College in Bangalore, India. 

It took some coaxing, and I  did eventually give in, and what a community we formed! 

Initially we all shared the palpable sense of doom ripping through medics across continents, then there was hope, then anger at the slowness of government responses, people not respecting rules, anger at conspiracy theorists, then doom again, but underlying it all a sense of camaraderie, of sharing our roots and core values. Of course we have changed significantly from our hot-headed, university days, but like one member says 'Nobody's ever going to blame us with mediocrity'

We shared recipes, gossip, information, family photos, jokes. We met up on zoom. We discovered one of us is an accomplished yoga teacher. Batchmates contributed generously to my charity when I undertook a marathon month challenge. We discussed hobbies, kids, professional challenges and accomplishment . Some of our sisters (yes they are both Catholic nuns and friends/batchmates) took ill with Covid, we sent prayer, best wishes and cheered when they recovered. And we shared recipes. (Oh did I say that already?)

I tried the  American 'hot-milk cake' which I must admit was an absolute disaster (I prefer the old style, accurate measures baking, thank you). I successfully fed my family a combination of oats and quinoa in the form of dosas (they never found out)! And last weekend I used another batchmate's fenugreek fish curry. He (or I think his lovely missus) made it in an earthen pot and used sea bream, I used my favourite pomfret. Deeelish! 

So here goes:

Kerala Style Fenugreek Fish Curry

Ingredients

Fish- 1 kg (sea bream/pomfret or other white fish: filleted)

Fenugreek seeds  1/2 tsp

Curry leave 1-2 tbsp

Onions 3-4 medium (1 large) finely chopped

Green chillies 1-2

Ginger 1 inch, chopped

Garlic 5-6 cloves, minced

Tomatoes 2 medium, chopped

Tamarind (1 tbsp of concentrate) or Kodampuli (a fascinating Kerala spice which adds tanginess to any curry-3)

Ground turmeric 1/2 tsp

Chilli powder 1 tsp (ooh less, I'd say)

Paprika powder (or light Kashmiri chilli powder) 1 tsp

Coconut milk 1 cup (I used coconut milk powder and reconstituted with hot water)

Oil (coconut or other cooking oil) 2 tbsp

Salt to taste

Tempering

Mustard seeds 1/2 tsp

Red chilli flakes 1/2 tsp

Oil 1 tbsp

Curry leaves 1 tbsp

2-3 shallots peeled

Method

Heat the oil in a wide based pan and add the fenugreek seeds, brown gently, Add curry leaves. 

Add the chopped onions, green chillies and ginger and garlic. Fry till golden brown.

Add tomatoes, cover and allow to soften on medium heat.

Add the turmeric powder, chili powder and paprika powder.

Add coconut milk and bring to a gentle boil. Add some water if you prefer a thinner sauce.

Carefully add the fish fillets ensuring the sauce covers them completely. Add salt to taste. 

When everything to comes to a boil again, the fish should be done. Do not stir too much and avoid overcooking the fish,

Tempering

Heat the oil in a small pan, and add mustard seeds. Let them splutter. Add curry leaves, red chilli flakes and shallots. Drop this mixture into the cooked fish curry: do not mix. 

Rest for a while (both the curry and you). Serve with rice, tapioca or Akki Roti (rice flour rotis). Patience goes a long way.

Enjoy the aroma, and with each mouthful feel the stress of your week melt away.

 

My wellness corner, my kitchen!

I am fed up of lockdown as are most of my colleagues and friends.

I need to keep busy, to keep creative. 

Mindfulness and Mindful cooking are my buzzwords.

I'm a doctor mum  and a foodie medic, but I am by no means an expert, in nutrition, dietetics or how to make your food taste good! A little patience goes a long way.

This my wellness corner, my escape, after a busy surgery when all that matters is a bit of chopping, some saute'ing, a sauce bubbling away gently, the aromas filling the kitchen. There are hundreds, nay, thousands of online food communities springing up everyday. We share our stories, our inspiration, our recipes, and I love sharing with my medical community which has its own richness of culture and inspiration. 

As often what I cook is created on the spot, I thought I would write down the steps of my recipes here to share..

I acquired an Instant Pot for Christmas and love experimenting with it. 

So here is a recipe for 'shell-on prawns', juicy, spicy and a ten minute job. (Well you do need to prep)

Ingredients:

1 tsp yellow mustard

2 tsp poppy seeds

1 tsp cumin seeds

1 tsp coriander seeds

1 tsp panchphoran (mix of five spices, find this in your nearest Indian shop). If you cannot, just use 1/2 tsp each of fennel seeds and fenugreek

Dry roast the above till dark brown and aromatic then crush to a powder using a mortar and pestle (I used this step to save time, as a spice paste would need to be gently fried in hot oil for much longer)

500 g raw shell-on prawns (defrost thoroughly if using frozen)

2 tbsp cooking oil

1 medium onion chopped

1-2 green chillies chopped

1/2 inch ginger crushed

2 cloves garlic minced

1 large tomato chopped

1 tbsp tomato puree

1/2 tsp turmeric

1 cup coconut milk (I used powdered coconut milk and reconstituted with hot water)

Salt to taste

Method:

Turn on Instant Pot to saute mode, add the oil and when hot gently fry the chopped onions, followed by chillies, ginger and garlic. Add the powdered spices and stir in. Add tomato puree and chopped tomatoes and fry in saute mode (you may need to turn off and back on again to ensure no burning). Add the turmeric and salt and stir. 

Turn off saute mode, add prawns, add half a cup of water to loosen everything (perhaps a little less), then add the coconut milk, combine everything, secure lid and pressure cook on high for 8 minutes. (6 minutes may be sufficient if using smaller or peeled prawns). When timer beeps, quick-release (QR) the pressure. Enjoy with rice of your choice.